Today I had to dig deep for funny. By 8:34am I was ready to quit my job and collect unemployment. But then I was reminded that if I quit my job I will not be eligible for unemployment. Darn. So I was forced to stay employed and deal with the absurdities of my work environment. And then the phone rang and the woman on the other end eventually made me laugh. She called and wanted to divorce her husband. Not funny I know, but stay with me. She has a 9 month old baby and a 21 month old toddler and a husband who travels for business. Here is what I imagine the scene was right before she picked up the phone to call a divorce attorney:
Sitting on the couch after wrestling her toddler down for a nap and finally getting the baby to sleep after the afternoon feeding she is enjoying a moment of quiet. Wearing yoga pants and her husbands t-shirt for the second day in a row, she needs a shower but is too tired to take one. She nibbles on the few cut up grapes and goldfish crackers her toddler left in the snack bowl, hungry but eating toddler leftovers will have to suffice. Then her husband calls asking about the kids and her day but all she hears him say is that he is going to be coming home an hour late and please don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning and he is going to have to take that business trip to California after all. She hangs up and is overwhelmed by the thought...I hate him and I want a divorce.
I am laughing because I feel the same way. I am tired and a little hungry and I hate my job and I want a divorce. I click on careerbuilder.com just like she clicked on divorceattorney.com. Thank goodness I have people in my life who listen, talk me off the ledge and throw food at me from time to time. I listened to this woman and hopefully stayed on the phone long enough to give her pause. She did not want an appointment, she just wanted to know her options. Staying is an option.
Hungry, angry, lonely, tired are the states of mind and body I need to have addressed before I make rash decisions. Hungry - the glass of water and handful of almonds brought me all the way to 8:34am. Angry - I let her mood affect mine, again. Lonely - not so much. Tired - I woke up exhausted, a direct result of not putting myself to bed at a reasonable time, three nights in a row. I still cussed a lot and grumbled a lot and ate four pieces of chocolate in a last ditch effort to feel better, which didn't work. But my co-workers helped me laugh in the midst of the absurd. And if nothing else, another Miss. Thing story was born today involving a bank deposit, a pregnant lady, high heels and a parking lot. Funny for sure.
Lori Ann Dinkins
One blog at a time, I write the truth about my life as it is, as I hope it will be, as I wish it would have been. Business insights and personal triumphs. Thank you for joining me.