Miss. Thing 1 of 2

The Business Meeting

As Miss. Thing stands in the kitchen pouring her goblet of white wine in preparation for the business meeting, the rest of the employees strategically find their seats around the large conference table.  The last one to arrive is forced to sit next to her so everyone rushes, pushes and sometimes trips their co-workers on the way to the meeting.  Today the new girl is last to arrive.  She has no idea her colleagues purposefully told her the wrong start time as she takes a seat next to Miss. Thing.  She seems thrilled at her luck in scoring a seat at the head of the table.  Lucky duck indeed.


The new girl was one of Miss. Things' recent finds.  A recent graduate of law school, her resume boasts of many achievements.  None of them actual work experience but the layout of her resume was really professional.  In fact, this job is new girl's first job - ever - in her whole life.  No McDonalds in high school or waitressing in college or summer camp counselor at Camp Hiawatha.  But she is really sweet and well, what else could an employer want?  And according to Miss. Thing, during the interview the new girl said, everyone here is so pretty!  That is after she talked about her fiancee and her silly little brain that forgets things from time to time.  Miss. Thing actually giggles when she retells the story.  She can't wait to sink her claws into this one.


So this meeting is an opportunity for us to gather and talk openly and honestly about the operations of the business.  Let's keep the comments positive.  Hey new girl, are you a Christian?

Umm... she says, twirling her gold locks.

You look like you are a Christian.  I like Christians.  I'm a Christian.  How come nobody else is drinking?  Gulp.  Gulp. Gulp.  The rest of the employees look down at their legal pads, doodling, avoiding eye contact.  Engaging meant conversation and conversation meant opinions and opinions meant Miss. Thing storming out of the conference room, crying, bottle in hand and deafening silence sucking up the oxygen in the room.  So from experience, everyone sits quietly, listens, and swallows hard until Miss. Thing deems the gathering to be successful and dismisses the meeting.  But new girl doesn't know the rules and new girl raises her hand like she is in the 3rd grade hoping she will get called on.  Miss. Thing giggles, takes another swig of wine and nods her head giving permission for her young prey to speak...


...to be continued.