The Business Meeting
Conversation during the business meeting is random at best - in between the riveting professional development discussions like who is going to be in charge of cleaning out the refrigerator at the end of the week and why hasn't the burnt light bulb been replaced in the hallway. Business meetings are held after a long day at the office. Tired. Hungry. And missing family time. A perfect combination for a productive exchange. They are mostly held in random restaurants throughout town under the premise that people behave better when in public.
Little Miss. Prego over there is leaving on maternity leave soon. I remember when I was pregnant with my babies...20 minutes later...and their tiny little toes...32 minutes later...anyway it is a very sweet time. And be prepared - your husband is going to want to taste your breast milk. The Human Resources Manager puts her face into her hands and breathes deeply. It's going to be a long night.
Checking off the agenda items as they are discussed, the facilitator encourages everyone to offer their suggestions on how to improve the flow of business.
Employee 1: I suggest...
Miss. Thing: Interesting idea but no.
Employee 2: What if we...
Miss. Thing: Thank you for your input but no.
Employee 3: I think the business would benefit by...
Miss. Thing: Wonderful thought but no.
Deafening silence ensues. Miss. Thing doesn't notice. More airtime for her. Employees text each other instead of talk to each other because their coworkers are more receptive to their ideas. Each text idea is met with a wink or sly smile or nod of the head. Some laugh out loud at the text reference to Cruela Devil covering their outburst with a dry cough. Others snigger under their breath at the Facebook post of the salmon pasta special, pretending to be deep in thought.
This is umm such a grrreat group of people - I have the privilege of umm of knowing. I was umm...reading a daily medi - meditation (she pauses to wipe her sweaty brow as the alcohol has taken hold). I was reading this umm mediation and it was umm about you people. Loving you people because umm without you people the world umm my world would be umm bad and you are good and we umm are good. So let's go forth and umm be good together.
Sigh. Employees gather their things, thank Miss. Thing for a nice meal and pray that she gets home safely. Nothing will be different tomorrow - except the light bulb in the hallway will probably get replaced and the refrigerator will mostly likely get cleaned out.
Lori Ann Dinkins
One blog at a time, I write the truth about my life as it is, as I hope it will be, as I wish it would have been. Business insights and personal triumphs. Thank you for joining me.