My Sexy Status

Sexy is so out of my league.  I only know this because I have friends who are, what I consider to be, sexy. The kind of woman who turns heads - not from her beauty but from her essence, allure, smile. The kind of man who makes you want to hold in your stomach and freshen your lipstick just in case he looks your way.  Sexy is a confidence, state of mind, attitude.  Sexy is a walk, a look, a stance.  Sexy is so not me.


I have been noticing how I walk down the street.  I walk like I am being chased by the boogeyman.  I walk to get there - now.  I walk with purpose.  Clomp.  Clomp.  Clomp.  My head down, eyes on the three feet of pavement ahead of me until I reach my destination.  Sexy is no where on my radar when I walk.  I have a sexy friend - let's call her Christine.  She walks like she has a secret to share with the world - and that secret is hidden in the sway of her hips.  She has a swish and a swagger that can hush the buzz of a coffee shop when she enters.  She takes each step as if she is being watched - and I promise you she is.  I hate walking next to her.  I feel like Ethel must have felt walking next to Lucy - exposed.


I have noticed the shoes I wear do not help me in the sexy walking category.  Different color clod-hoppers.  Clomp. Clomp. Clomp.  Christine wears heels with jeans and looks perfectly normal - like jeans were meant to be worn with high heels.  If I wore heels with jeans - well that's just ridiculous.


Christine is the woman who men ask on dates while she waits for her morning latte.  She has kids and a job and a busy life just like me.  However, she looks available and sophisticated and worldly when ordering her drink while I look - like I have kids and a job and a busy life.  Again, I am Ethel standing next to Lucy who attracts the international Latin musician while I attract Fred.


A friend of mine challenged me to slow down, look up and smile at everyone I pass by during the day.  Sexy is a nice idea but if sexy is smiling all damn day it's just not for me.  A swish or a sway every now and then is fun. Hilarious actually considering Christine has a bum to swish and sway with while my saggy britches are comedy relief.  But I believe Lucy wouldn't be Lucy without her unsexy friend Ethel.  So I will continue to clomp and occasionally sway and smile each time sexy walks by.