My kids recently pointed out to me that I say, Thank you, all day long - like these words are annoying them and please stop.  Geez Mom, thank you for gas in the car?  Yes!  Without gas, the car doesn't move and if the car doesn't move, I cannot get to work and if I cannot get to work, I do not make money and without money, I can't pay the rent and so on.  It's like the children's book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.  All day long I speak those two words as a prayer.


I often make a gratitude list.  Sometimes I share it with others and sometimes I just write the list in my nightly journal.  Acknowledging my gratitude for my life does not come easy to me.  It is a practice - a sort of meditation.  Today I am grateful for:
my bed
fresh air
my legs
sunshine
Netflix
Transformation Church
music
nachos
my sweet boys
air conditioning
new friendships
a 2nd date on Tuesday
1:00pm meeting
baby Hadley
sweatpants


I used to think being grateful was a feeling. I am not sure where I came up with that idea but that is what I believed.  I have been taught that gratitude is an attitude (groan) - not a feeling.  Sometimes the things I am grateful for do not feel good and yet I am grateful to be having the experience.  Most of the items on my list bring a smile to my face but that is because I believe them to be good and therefore I feel good about them.  Sweatpants - I could look at them and think - elastic waistband, I am getting fat, they are so old but I can't afford new ones...  But sweatpants made my list because I was comfortable all day long unpacking, cleaning, lounging on my couch.  They are like hanging out with an old friend.  My sister almost persuaded me to donate them because they are old and worn and I am so grateful I didn't listen to her.


Some days I have to work hard to come up with five things to be grateful for.  A sad admission but it is the truth.  I told my son the glass half empty/half full analogy when explaining why I say thank you all day long.  He thought for a minute and said, but mom - the glass is not half empty or half full, it just is.  So very grateful for simple perspective.  It just is...
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My sister came to visit this weekend, leaving her family to spend time with mine.  Sister.  When I am with her a part of me awakens.  Within moments of being in her presence I notice I am breathing easier.  I feel prettier and funnier and smarter and more capable when she is near.  My hair is less frizzy and my belly is less squishy (although that is probably due to the Spanks she made me purchase).  She is an amazing audience to my silliness, honest critic to my writing and cheerleader when I slip into doubt.  I promise, I am not even exaggerating.


Yesterday, after a lovely day of volunteering, coffee, lunch and lots of laughter, we went home to relax before our dinner plans.  And then, innocently enough, she peeked into my walk-in closet.  I am not sure what other people keep in their closet or how they organize their clothes but Sister was stunned into silence at the appearance of mine.  I happen to have clothes in every size, color and material dating back to the last millennium.  The clothes that don't fit are intermixed with the clothes that barely fit, sprinkled with clothes that are lovely if only worn with different undergarments.  Who knew my muffin top and back fat could be controlled and managed with the right bra and panties!


Next thing I know there are piles of keep, donate and what were you thinking - all over my bedroom, spilling out into my living room.  As she found outfits that were wooden-hanger worthy, I was forced to try on each outfit with shoes and accessories.  She then took a picture on my iPhone for me to reference each morning before dressing.  The outfits she created from the heaps of clothes I crammed into my closet were amazing and inspiring and literally brought me to tears.


With Sister nearby, I see life is possible without my favorite gray sweatpants and frumpy once-black dress I bought in a boutique a million years ago.  With Sister nearby, men find me attractive and more importantly I find myself attractive.  I am not sure why she inspires goodness and pretty and funny in me - but I sure am grateful to God for plopping us into the same family.  But even if we hadn't been - we would have found our way to each other because she is a part of me and I am a part of her.  We are Sisters with a capital S.