Romance

Who says romance is dead?  My nephew just asked his - text all night long friend - to be his girlfriend.  Their pseudo relationship was touch and go all summer but last night he made his move.  He bought her flowers and a can of Febreze - to represent a "fresh" start.  Awwwww!


The last bit of romance I was privy to was...hmmm...give me a minute...do you hear crickets?  I mean I have gotten flowers from a love interest once or twice.  I have even received a box of candy at Valentine's Day (which is never a nice gift for me because inhaling an entire box of chocolate is not attractive!).  One time I sprinkled Hershey's Kisses on the front stoop of my hope-to-be-more-than-friend's house with a sign that read, I will "kiss" the ground you walk on.  My therapist gave me a free session for that one.


Romance is in the movies and honestly - that is where it should stay.  Good looking people picnicking in the park, wearing weather appropriate, stylish clothing, nibbling on exotic olives from the olive bar at Whole Foods, gorgeous orchestra music swelling in the background.  No ants.  No food allergies.  No tight shorts or bra straps showing.  No pretending to smile. No sweaty palms or glistening foreheads.  Just gorgeous people having a gorgeous romantic picnic who will go home and have gorgeous romantic sex.  That is why I love the movies.


Reality, on the other hand, yikes.  Romance is hit or miss.  Intentions and execution are often a tad bit off.  The movies have truly ruined a nice romantic gesture.  The other day my co-worker received a dozen red roses from her fiance.  So sweet.  No reason, just because.  And that should be enough right?  But no.  My - Miss. Thing - asks her the next morning, so did you have sex with him last night?  Because in the movies they would have had sex.  In the movies she would have greeted him at the door after a long day at work in colorful silk panties and matching push-up bra.  And after their hot sexual moment they would have eaten pancakes by candlelight, laughing and talking until the wee hours of the morning.  Maybe that's what they did.  But something tells me there was some hugging and a little kissing and lots of yawning and probably a cuddle or two while curled up on the couch eating leftovers and falling asleep to a sitcom rerun.


I believe romance is a big grand gesture and a small intimate expression.  The information and ideas are out there.  No longer can people claim they don't know how to be romantic.  Google it.  In the meantime, I will leave romance to the professionals and curl up with my favorite romance novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.  Ignore me when I swoon.