Smart-ish

I am a smart woman.  Well, not really.  Not compared to my 1st and 5th grade boys.  I envy their brains. They can retain so much information.  I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast.


We play this game - who can name the United States.  Proudly, I know there are 50 of them.  Miles throws out the name of a state and Max and I are supposed to name the states touching that state.  The boys love this game.  I do not.  Colorado!  My palms sweat, my heart races, tears well up in my eyes. 


Before the Winter Olympics in February, I realized I didn't know where Sochi was located.  Apparently I was the only one.  Miles says, "Mom, it's in Russia.  Do you know where Russia is?"  Of course I know where Russia is!  Unconvinced, Miles takes my hand and leads me into his bedroom where the boys have a huge poster of the world right above their beds.  We stand on the bed in front of the flat world and he kindly shows me Russia and then Sochi.  After which he proceeds to give me a European geography lesson. I am proud and annoyed all at the same time.


The other night, Max and I were sitting at the table after dinner.  He was working on his math homework (gulp) and I was doing something very intellectual I am sure.  He asked me if I knew the answer to one of the math problems.  I not only didn't know the answer, I barely understood the words he used to ask the question.


Did you know the Peregrine Falcon is the world's fastest animal?  Nope.
Did you know an Oxpecker Bird and the African Rhino share a symbiotic relationship? Huh?
Did you know the Basilisk Lizard in Costa Rica can walk on water?  Oh Lord.


My Grandmother told me do crossword puzzles to keep my mind sharp.  Have you done a crossword puzzle lately?  A real one - not the one in the back of People magazine.  Talk about an exercise in humility.  Don't cheat.  Don't cheat.  Don't cheat.  Of course I end up cheating.


I am a figure-it-out kind of girl.  I know a little bit about a lot of topics.  I am ok with that.  As we get older we are supposed to get wiser.  Clearly wiser doesn't mean smarter because my brain is mushier now than ever.  Wise regarding life issues?  Ok.  But if I have to take a comprehensive test at the end of this life to move on to the next, I am so screwed.